By Anabelle
Hello! សួស្តី! (Suesodie!)
So, we’ve been in Cambodia for about a week. Specially in Battambang! It’s my favorite place we’ve been on the trip so far!
Context for this little story of mine: this is a journal entry from my personal journal! I felt it was important to share my experience and story, and was encouraged by my cohort members! Enjoy!
“I am the perfect hype man. Being plus sized in this world means I often end up shopping with my friends at stores I know that don’t have my size. That’s okay! I’ll be the perfect hype man, sort the stuff you like, the stuff you don’t, hang you things to try on, etc. I don’t mind at all.
Going to Southeast Asia, I knew it would be difficult to find things in my size. I was prepared. I also know that sometimes my size prevents me from certain experiences.
So when Ruby, a fellow cohort member asked me if I wanted to join her while she got dressed up in traditional Khmer attire for a photoshoot, I signed my name in pretty font at the top of the list for hype man.
We went to a place nearby our hotel, and I expected to just come along, hype Ruby up, and go home. Little did I know…
“They can do you too.”
The words shattered my world. Suddenly, there was no yes or no, just me being whisked away up the stairs to their photoshoot area. It all happened so fast I’m not sure I quite knew what was happening.
Long story short, we go dolled up. Hair, makeup, the works. I remember how anxiety ridden I felt. How it felt like me being here was wrong. How I felt like me in that space was a mistake, and I was making these women’s day harder by existing.
It took me finishing the photoshoot to reflect on it all. I often bar myself from experiences due to my size. Like in my head I’m 12 feet tall instead of six, and my footsteps shake the world when I walk. But, that’s not the truth.
I deserve to have pretty photos, to feel like a princess for one day. To wear the sarong, the jewelry, and hold the flowers of a culture I find so beautiful. To openly embrace Khmer culture not just through reading or textbooks. But to feel it beautifully woven fabric on my skin, and to engage with the locals and learn about their traditional clothing.
I’m not too big, or too tall to experience the world.”
Thanks for reading!
(Tell Taxy I love him -AW)
