TRANSITION FROM TREK TO X-PHASE

Written by Kilani and Samantha’s Instructors

Namaste Friends and Families!

We hope that you enjoyed the photos that have been posted so far from the trek! We have successfully completed the Thorangla pass ~5400m in Manang three days ago and ended our trek this morning in Mustang where we said goodbyes to our trekking guides and crew. We all are sad that the family that we had for 13 days have parted the ways but we all are extremely grateful for their hard work and support on this trek.

As the trekking chapter comes to an end, the group is now getting ready to start off their first day of X-phase in Kagbeni, Mustang today!😀

Here are some pictures with crew!

TREKKING: DAY 5 & 6

Written by Kilani and Samantha’s Instructors

Everyone is doing well! We are acclimatizing at Ngawal which is 3660m. Today morning we did an acclimatization hike to a nearby hill (4112m). Tomorrow we’re heading towards Braka. Enjoy the photos!

PHOTOS FROM TREK IN NEPAL

TRANSTION TO FROM NAMO BUDDHA MONASTERY TO TREK

Written by Kilani and Samantha’s Instructors

Namaste Everyone,

After 7 days long of staying in Monastery retreat, and receiving teachings from Lama La, we are heading towards our Trek destination.

Before leaving for the monastery, we got the golden opportunity to audience with Guru Thrangu Rinpoche! It was such an incredible experience to see him and to take blessings from him.

Here are some pictures from the monastery!

We are now in Lamjung where we stayed overnight in a guest house. We will began trekking from tomorrow! We will share more photos soon!

THE STRONGEST GIRL I HAVE EVER KNOWN

Written by Samantha

Name: Sabina Thaami

Age: 20 years old

Born and raised in Kathmandu. Currently residing in Chaukati. Has a 2 year old son named Sanish and is married.

This is my letter to the girl who is just like me.

Dear Sabina,

You and I have crossed paths. You come from a path of dirt and mud and I, from mud and water. Still, somehow in this life we have met and managed to make it rain. There’s been so much rain that our paths have gone from puddles to streams to raging rivers. Rivers that are washing away all the dirt and mud. Rivers that are bringing fish and greenery. Rivers that are cleansing our “impurities” and washing away our pain. I was gifted a Nepali name, “Sapana”, a direct translation to dreams. I hope that you always remember when we crossed paths and for a moment life felt peaceful and pure. I hope you always remember that your path wont always be of dirt and mud. I hope you always remember your dreams and know that you can do anything. That you are as strong and tough as the rock that sits on your path and doesn’t move. That you are as giving and nurturing as the dirt on your path. The dirt that gives whatever you plant and nurture, and that you can become whoever you want to be like the mud that gets molded into different things. Remember you are strong even in your weakest moments. Those who have felt pain and struggle know how to appreciate the sun after a storm, know how to smile and laugh even when our hearts are crying, and especially know how to preserve and keep moving. Remember, the snail moves slowly and always faces obstacles and dangers but he never stops or turns around. His end goal is his destination. Sabina, dream of your destination. Envision the sun and the blue skies and the grass full of flowers and believe that’s where you can be. It’s hard to envision love when all you know is pain, but since you know pain you know what not to seek. Trust yourself as I have trusted you. Trust your heart as you have felt her cry. Trust your eyes as they will show you the truth. Thank you for being my friend, thank you for reminding me why I came to Nepal, and most importantly thank you for allowing me to get to know the real you. We are the sun, no one could ever dim our light. Remember that everyday Sabina.

• May all your dreams come true, Sapana.

After writing this letter, I gifted it to her. The day after gifting it we had to say our final goodbyes. Sabina tried to be so strong for me… “I hope your journey goes well.” She says, “Remember to text me when you get back.” Then there’s a pause. For a brief moment I’m swallowed by emptiness and the world feels like its engulfed in flames. I stare at her as she stares at me. I could feel her eyes. I could feel our hearts trying to hide our tears. Then she finally let go.

It felt as if it was raining and the rain wanted to become one with my skin. Become one with my eyes. For a brief moment I remembered what having a friend was like. For a brief moment I remembered what walking away feels like. In my heart I wont forget the pain I felt while telling Sabina, “ Remember what I told you. Always read the letter and know ill always be your friend and support you.”

The pain of knowing that she has to go back to her reality and be lonely, and I, go back to mine and do the same. It’s the pain of finally understanding that one soul can coexist with two hearts and two minds. It’s the pain of recognizing that what she seeks is what I have given and what I seek is what she has given. Support, love, friendship.

In that moment I allowed myself to weep like a child who lost its favorite stuffed animal. I refuse to believe that this will be my final goodbye. I believe we will once again cross paths and make it rain. Only this time our paths wont be of mud and dirt. But of fields with flowers and streams. I hope when we meet and our hearts can smile again, you will be living your Sapana and so will I.

My heart burns while writing this and my tears hurt my cheek but this pain was worth being your friend and seeing through your lens.

Goodbye Sabina, until we meet again.

HOME

Written by Kilani

In Portland it’s common for you to hear someone complain that everybody knows everybody and in some ways it’s true. During my time in Chokati I often found myself wondering what it was like to truly know the lives of everyone around you or to spend the majority of your life within the same small area. As different as Chokati was to my usual routine I found I felt the most at peace there. In the beginning of my stay I sprained my ankle and had to come to terms with the fact that working on the farm or exploring the mountains would not be how I occupied my time. Instead, I spent my free time finding joys in the things I could access by my house. My favorite pastime was sitting on my roof, taking in the views that the people of Chokati experienced every day. The mountains (in Nepal they’re considered to be hills) were gorgeous and engulfed the village in a way that seemed otherworldly. The sky often felt close enough to touch sometimes bright and blue other times gray with clouds that moved through the mountains. At dinner my aamaa (mother) and bahini (little sister) would laugh as I leaned out of our doorway to glance at the stars that outlined the mountains. In the morning the breezes were soft and aside from laughing children and calls to a neighbor, chokati was quiet. I realized at some point people in Chokati probably didn’t wake up every morning enchanted by their home like I was. I too rarely felt amazed by my home. I was often too distracted or bored to spend much time taking in my surroundings. I was constantly reminding myself to be grateful for the places I enjoyed. Growing up I had a strong dislike for my hometown, and even though I still wish to leave I find that I’m most comforted when I’m reminded of home. In the mornings when I left my bedroom I would stop to take in the clean air which reminded me of my childhood neighborhood. The streams we past on small hikes reminded me of the rivers I swim at every summer. Sometimes I found myself searching for Samantha, who came with me from Portland, knowing she’d also have the same thought of home. There are many things in Chokati that I grew to love and miss. My aamaa laughing at me whenever I said Dhanyabad (thank you), because people don’t say it as consistently as we do. The children who came to collect my group for volleyball everyday. Tea in the morning. The intensity of rain and thunder now that monsoon season is close. It’s now been three days since leaving Chokati.  I’m happy to have soft beds and the flat pavement is much kinder to my ankle but I have a lot of love for the time I spent there and a new love for my home too.

THROUGH MY EYES

Written by Samantha

A sad goodbye that has flourished a new beginning. A chapter that began with fear and closed with love. I never questioned if I belonged here. I was accepted with open arms, big smiles and kind eyes. I never imagined I’d have the opportunity to come to Nepal and now I believe this was always in the cards for me.

My host father Mani Ratna and my host mother Manjali run a gold jewelry shop. Selling beautiful necklaces, earrings, and rings. I found a beautiful necklace that I would’ve loved to buy but it was 130,000 rupees. Unfortunately that was way over my budget so I will return in 5 years or so and buy that beautiful necklace. I already have it settled with my host father.

My Hajuraamaa would always greet me with a smile. She knew absolutely no English and I am no expert at Nepali but Namaste felt like home. She is 85 years old and is of hard hearing, so our namastes always felt like yelling matches. Still, it was always worth seeing her smile. On my last night with the family she gifted me a beautiful hand knitted bag she spent a whole day making just for me. My Hajuraamaa made me miss my Mami back home. Sharing the same memory of when I’d go visit my Mami and simply seeing her smile off of a single “hola”. It was literally just like home.

Aunt Laxmi also lived with us. I found out that she’s deaf and mute but that didn’t stand in the way of us communicating. I would tell her she looked pretty or that her glasses looked cool based on just expressions and signs. Laxmi wasn’t taught sign language. Her signs are typically her pointing at something or trying to express something she was feeling. With her I learned that words aren’t necessary to communicate. That emotions are felt through the heart, seen through the eyes, and met through the kindness of a smile. Laxmi taught me that the world doesn’t have to be lonely. Even in silence, even without words, emotion can be felt and shown.

My host brother Sambhav. He reminds me so much of my brother Angelo back home. Shy and reserved. Sometimes the brightest people shine the least because they dont believe their light is enough to illuminate their darkest places. Sambhav and Angelo both dim their light, not because they cant shine but because they dont believe its possible for them. Sambhav made me miss Angelo everyday.

At first, id joke and think, “well maybe Sambhav doesn’t like me. He never speaks to me” and then slowly but surely Sambhav and I would laugh and joke together. Sambhav, Mani, and I worked on a 500+ piece puzzle of The Multhnomah Falls and finished it after 5-6 days. I think its safe to say Sambhav and I are friends. Sambhav reminded me that Angelo does love me even if he feels distant and away, we are still brother and sister.

My host mom Manjali took me to a tailor to buy some Lehengas. It was a nice and quite stressful experience. Mila, my host sister joined us as well. My favorite colors are pahelo (yellow) and Suntale (orange). I ended up getting a yellow/sunset colored Lehenga and one golden/light yellow Lehenga. When they were done I tried them on for Mila and Manjali. I can  remember Manjali looking at me and saying, “You look like a Queen.” I remember feeling so seen.

On my last night with the family Manjali gifted me a beautiful yellow scarf with red and blue patterns. She looked at me and said, “Yellow… Your favorite color.” I cried. They weren’t tears of sadness. They weren’t tears of joy. My tears were of appreciation. My tears spoke from my heart. A heart that got reminded to keep beating. A heart that got shown that love and kindness is universal and not limited. It’s given and vast. It’s translated in gestures, gifts, quality time and most importantly through the eyes.

Mila, my amazing and beautiful host sister. Someone that from day 1 reminded me to not be afraid. Someone that would remind me that I’m strong, beautiful and talented. We gossiped and laughed so much about everything and anything. We had dance parties, makeup sessions, and believe it or not when we were in the mood to cry we’d watch sad movies like the fault in our stars.

She had become my bestfriend. My person. I have never had a sister. It’s always been my 3 brothers and I. I’d always say that if I had a sister I wouldn’t know what to do or how to play but Mila showed me something. She showed me how fulfilling and fun having a sister could be. Having someone who understands you. Someone that sees through the same lens and can hold the same experience even if it’s felt in different ways.

On the last day with my family Mila cried. Begging me to come back before I leave Nepal to go home. Through her eyes I could feel the pain in her tears. The yearning for just one more tomorrow. I was more happy than sad that day. Not only did I gain another family. I gained a sister. Something I didn’t have before but now know I needed.

This beautiful Newari family has gained a new daughter. A new sister. This Newari family has taken a piece of my heart and shaped it into a new home. In the beginning I said, “This chapter closed with love”, but the truth is, this ending isn’t finished. In my heart I know we will meet again.

Sapana

Samantha Leyva Gonzalez

MOVING ON FROM CHAUKATI

Written by Kilani and Samantha’s Instructors

At the end a wonderful stay in the village of Chaukati that went by very quickly, the group was sent off with blessings, flower mala, and some tears of love, and opted to hike several hours downhill to a nearby roadhead.

After a well-earned night of rest in Dhulikhel, we will be shifting to the next phase of the course, a retreat at Namo Buddha monastery, an important pilgrimage site for Buddhists perched atop a beautiful forested ridge outside of the Kathmandu Valley. We will stay there for a week, taking a deep dive into the Buddhist teachings and philosophy, as well as following an intensive daily meditation practice with our khenpo, a senior monk and teacher. Namo Buddha also offers us the rare opportunity to participate in aspects of the monks’ lives, including shared meals and prayer ceremonies.